Well dear readers, we're going to Arkansas! There's a sentence I never thought I would write!

Our friends Matt & Emily live in Little Rock, and offered to train me on all things missionary, and so I asked the church if they would send us to Arkansas, and they said yes.

Thanks, church board! You are the nicest guys I know!

So now at the end of the month, the three of us are going on a jet plane to spend a long weekend in the South and will glean some great missions tips from some great friends.

Wahoo!

This week has been extremely stressful. I was so proud of myself for being so organized and planning ahead with this show, and was so determined to not have my yearly meltdown....but my efforts seem to be futile.

We've had such amazing scheduling issues and mix ups with dancers this spring, that today when one of the dancers called me to make her contribution to the "let's give Tammy a continual stress headache until April 25" fund, I just couldn't help but laugh at the sheer insanity of it all. And then I had a really good cry.

I hurt for everyone who is hurting right now for various reasons. I wish I could fix everyone's personal lives so they could just come, dance, and feel free from it all. But I can't. And I have to be a meanie and stick to my guns and insist people follow through on their commitments even when life tries to get in the way. Hence the tears. It just isn't in my nature to be unrelentlessly bossy, even though my family may say otherwise. ;)

I hope that God will honor the dancers' faithfulness. And I hope somehow He'll honor mine as well.

This week has been full of judgment. "You're making great choices, Tammy!" "I think you need to think this over more, sister." "Oh Tam, you should've known better than that..."

I know they say in ministry you need to have rhinoceros skin and a marshmallow heart, but my marshmallow is getting a little hard and crusty...it's hard to be criticized all of the time, and I am stupid scared that our audience won't respond well to the big show in a few weeks, even though I know it only really matters what God thinks.

Little emotional pressure points from authoritarians in my life swim in my mind all day long - make sure your dances don't all look the same, don't forget to give that actress her notes so that point comes across well, push to have 4 sold out shows, don't let your music cuts sound amateurish, check and double check and triple check every single little thing....and oh yeah, take care of your 8 month old son and finish your article deadlines. You still have a full time job, you know.

How is my head still on my body?

I often wonder if it's possible to run a creative arts ministry without bruising egos and enabling showboats. That fine line between Christ and creative license, love and limelight...is so very fragile with so many people, it's easy to forget Who you're doing it all for.

"Let us run the race set out before us..." Hebrews 11....

The Christian journey is no easy sprint. It feels like the world's longest marathon.

We must run with perseverence - without detractors, despite distractions, with patience, and in the mindset that we WILL meet the finish line.


And I am very sleepy.



Sam liked this horse at Babies R Us. Nichole & I liked the hat. Frank says it makes him look like a 70 year old woman playing tennis. I think Frank has no appreciation of cute baby fashion.