Weekend Blessings

This was a pretty amazing weekend. It was also pretty crazy - but the amazing part is found within the craziness. Does that make sense?

We had dance camp this weekend - the one weekend out of the year where we mandate EVERY SINGLE PERFORMER to come and "live" at the church for 24 hours and we rehearse a lot. Probably more than what is reasonably healthy, but at the same time, the dancers have a ton of fun and things usually work out pretty well. This year was no exception. Highlights of the weekend:

1) One of our actors broke his collarbone. He was to be in a cast for 6 weeks, automatically benching him from being in the Cinderella performances. During a prayer meeting on Friday night, he was healed, and now just 6 days later, he is out of his cast and back in action.

2) One of our dancers has had intense stomach pains that have sent her to the ER. During our prayer and worship time with The Well on Friday night, she felt instant relief from her pain, and was able to rehearse fully.

3) We had a relatively smooth first run through of Cinderella.

4) We had an encouragement circle - it was supposed to last about 30 minutes. Over 2 hours later, dancers will still edifying each other - it was a wonderful and beautiful time of self-esteem boosting and expression of love.

5) Church on Sunday was very powerful. The message moved people deeply, and a deep seeded conflict between two creative arts participants was brought to a place where healing can begin.

6) We sold out our opening night show with ticket sales, and a few of the other shows are close to being full as well.

Finally, my aunt came to visit unexpectantly. My grandmother was admitted to the hospital and she stopped by without much warning on her way home to Tahoe. We have not spoken in about five years, and I was really dreading the visit. All of my dread and anxiety was transformed into a really lovely visit, and we even got a chance to pray together.

I love renewal.

With All My Heart

The bible clearly states that after we become a Christian, we should love, trust, seek and serve God with all our hearts. Really, it isn't too difficult. If you accept Jesus into your heart, and surround yourself with a healthy community that never pressures you into anything you don't feel called to do - then loving, trusting, seeking and serving God just comes naturally. You feel His love through them, you feel His love through the Bible, you feel His love through every day experience and action.

But sometimes, that doesn't come without opposition. The devil hits hard when he wants to, especially when you commit your life to doing awesome, good, positive things. And holy cow did I get walloped tonight. And I am still getting beaten on.

I love my Jesus, I go to a great church, but sometimes I feel it is just impossible for me to discover where God wants me to be. It seems like this year, I just cannot get my footing - everything I touch turns to crap, and while I am never giving up on God and His goodness....I may have to give up on what I thought was "right" for awhile in terms of where I serve Him and how.

Hungry For God And Regular Hungry Too

I am going to be blogging every day for the next 21 days, and hope that you'll come along with me for prayer, insight and advice. The reason for the incessant writing is 3-fold: I really love to write and have been neglecting that passion except for when I get a paycheck for it, God is doing a lot of things in me right now and I want to have it for memories, & our church is doing a 21-day fast and I know that God is going to use that time to reveal a lot of stuff, and I am holding out hope that what He speaks will be eye-opening.

I had a lot of agony over fasting. I've never done it before, and I've always joked that God will NEVER call me to it, because He loves me and would never want to see me suffer that much. ;) I love food, all friends and family ever want to do is go out to eat - it has become such a cultural thing in our society. And really, as much as I'm hooked, it's kind of gross. When I need sushi more than Jesus, it's time to slow down and admit it - okay, okay Lord, it's time for a fast. Boo. I'll be obedient, but don't expect any cartwheels.

Everyone is fasting differently. A ton of people are doing the Daniel Fast. Some are doing just water or gatorade. Some are fasting from a favorite food, a pasttime, etc. etc. After a lot of thought and prayer, this is what I've decided my fast is going to be:
1) No sugar or caffeine
2) No eating out - everything I eat needs to come from the grocery store or my kitchen
3) Nothing but water from sunup to sundown.

#3 is going to be a killer - I Daniel Fasted the first two days, decided I was doing it out of utter and total legalism, and decided last night that the above 3 rules is what God wants me to do right now.

I have not had a drop of caffeine or sugar (except that found naturally in whole fruit), and I feel healthy. Not a smidge of a headache, wheareas usually if I go more than half a day without a Pepsi, I feel dead. God is already carrying me, and I am excited for more of Him.

During this time, I also have a fast list of things I am going to commit to prayer. I am not sharing all of them here, but here are 4 that you can join me in prayer, if you feel led:

1) That God would bless "Cinderella Reimagined" and would bring people to Him through our efforts.

2) That The Royal Stage would make progress, find facilities, and be fruitful this summer

3) That my friends and family will come to know the REAL Jesus. And be blown away by His awesomeness.

4) That God would reveal to Frank and I the right time to expand our family, and that we will be okay with whatever the verdict is.

Ooooooh I want an egg mcmuffin right now VERY MUCH! God is better though <3

I've switched back to a paper journal. There is something so much more deeply fulfilling about writing thoughts down free of spell check (which doesn't correct me much - I am pretty awesome) and other people's opinions. But don't worry, dear reader, I am not completely weary of the thrills of exhibitionist writing - for all my friends, my critics, and my friends who never talk to me in real life anymore but always read my blog so I am not really sure if they are critics or not- - I will still post here.

March is always the weirdest time. Winter is having a total identity crisis and is about to just give up and succumb to spring, and my stress level is at 300% during our last month of rehearsal. But I am proud to say that this year, my ministry stress isn't half bad. I am not sure if I have finally concluded that it doesn't change things whether or not I have a nervous break down at every turn, or if I've concluded even further that none of this EVEN MATTERS! - but for whatever reason, God keeps drawing me back to it, and here we are - year #5. And so March's hope starts to burst through in the form of dances looking clean and polished, lines being delivered with appropriate emotion, and friendships being formed in powerful and meaningful ways.

The rest of me = complete mess. The laundry's not done, my article deadlines loom, and joining me on this adventure is a vibrant little 19 month old, who will apparently spontaneously combust if he is forced to sit still for more than five minutes at a time. He is also deeply infatuated with our toilet plunger and gives the most stupidly wonderful hugs and wet kisses. He is seriously the best human being on the planet (no bias here, of course), and sometimes I wish we could just waste the day away making blanket forts, blowing bubbles, and making block towers.

Because then the day wouldn't be a waste at all.

I've been feeling like a waste lately. I've lost track of my Jesus, and I need to find a way to find him again. Pronto.